Invader Puppy: Rewritten
by Invader Pinn
Summary: The new and improved version of my story Invader Puppy! Zim gets turned into a dog! Will he get back to normal? I know the answer but won't tell you! You'll have to read to find out!
1. Chapter 1

Invader Puppy

Chapter 1 A Dog's Life

It was a warm September afternoon. The leaves on the trees had begun to turn different shades of brown, red, and orange. Squirrels were gathering food to store for winter. Kids played fun games like tag, basketball, hide and seek, etc. It was a perfect day.

Zim was walking home from skool, thinking about a way to destroy the Dib. So far... Nothing. He had tried almost everything! Maybe he could use a time machine to - oh wait he already did that. Maybe he should - no. There is no way he could pull that off!

"Gah!" Zim screeched. "My AMAZING brain is failing to think of a way to get rid of the Dib-stink!"

At the sound of Zim's temper tantrum, a dog fell out of a trash bin and ran out of an ally. Then it hit him. A plan! (Actually it was a rock some kid threw from the bushes.) Zim begun laughing that maniacal laughter we all know and love. He soon arrived at his base.

"Soup?" Gir greeted when Zim entered the odd household. "Wanna help me milk a mongoose?"

"No Gir." Zim sighed. "I'm going down to the lab. Do not disturb Zim!"

With that Zim descended down the toilet elevator to the bowels of his lab. (A/N I love the word bowels!)

~ A while later ~

"Finally!" Zim bellowed, holding up a laser."Gir!"

Gir suddenly appeared in a bright flash of light, causing Zim to jump.

"Yees!?" He asked, wondering why his master had called him.

"I've finally found a way to destroy the Dib! Bwahahahahahahahahaha!"

"Masta?" Gir asked, cocking an nonexistent eyebrow.

"Hmm?"

"Are you lonely? Do you talk to me about these non important subjects because your secretly longing for a friend? Do you say you need no one because you don't want to admit a weakness? Is that why you only talk to me?"

"What?"

"Cookie!" Gir yelled eating a bolt on the floor. "Mmmm. That's good eats! What were you sayin'?"

"I finally found a way to destroy Dib?" Zim said still baffled. "I AM ZIM!"

"How masta?" Gir asked.

"This," Zim gestured to the laser. "is the Dogifire2000! It'll turn any living creature into a filthy Earth dog! I'm so amazing. Anyway, I must return to my plasma death ray. Leave Zim alone!" Zim walked to a large ray gun and started to tinker with it.

"Okay! I'm gonna take the cupcake maker with me!" Gir ran to the ray gun and picked it up. Then he ran away with it upstairs.

~ 1 hr later ~

Zim emerged from the trashcan elevator only to see Gir sitting on the couch, Dogifire2000 in hand.

"NO GIR! PUT THAT DOWN!" Zim screamed running towards the crazy, blue eyed robot.

"Hmm?" Gir turned his head and accidentally zapped Zim with the laser. He seemed to vanish in a puff of grey smoke. "Masta?" Gir walked towards the smoke, which was dying away. "Masta!? Iz that chu!?"

Standing in his master's place was a small green puppy. It had dark green on it's paws, ears, and tail. It had large pink eyes, two antennae, and a collar that read: ZIM.

"Of course it's me!" Zim barked. (pun intended.) "Look what you've done to Zim!"

"Awww! Your so cute!" Gir cooed. "Come here puppy masta!" ( A/N Lol. Puppy masta sounds like a rap. PUPPY MASTA YO!)

"I'm not cute!" Zim yelled.

Gir bent down and picked Zim up. He hugged his master a little to tight. Zim struggled to breath.

"Let. Go. Of. Zim." Zim said, but the little SIR didn't listen. His servant only tightened his hug.

An eternity later (30 seconds), Gir finally let go. Zim dropped to the floor, getting as much filthy air in his "lungs" as possible. Just as he was about to scold Gir, the mechanical maniac picked the alien dog and brought him outside.

"Put me down Gir! That's an order!" Zim commanded, but to no avail. All Gir could hear was the green puppy's angry growls and barks. Your average joe would put the, clearly mad, dog down. But Gir was, obviously, not you average joe. He thought Zim was more than happy to go outside. Well, he wasn't.

Gir gently set Zim down on the grass and pulled a rubber ball out of his head. (A/N Gir pulled the ball out of his own head. Gir did not pull the ball out of Zim's head.)

"Wanna play fetch masta?" Gir asked.

"Zim knows not of this fetch."

"Okay! Go fetch!" With that, Gir threw the rubber ball.

"I will not go fet-fe-fe... BALL!"

Zim took off running catching the ball midair. He ran back to Gir and dropped the ball.

"That was horrible." Zim said.

Gir picked up the ball and threw it.

"NO!" Zim bellowed. "WHY!?"

~ half hour later ~

Zim dropped the ball in front of Gir, panting.

"So. Tired." Zim said breathlessly. "How did you. Wear Zim out so. Fast."

"Go get the ball!"

Zim groaned and ran after the ball. Suddenly, an ambulance zipped in the front of the house. Gir's head snapped towards the sound of the sirens.

"FAIRIES!" Gir ran to Zim, who had just got the ball, picked him up, grabbed the ball, threw it at a neighbor's window, and ran to the front yard.

Of course, their were no fairies outside. Gir frowned. The two went inside and fell asleep on the couch.

~8:38 pm~

Zim woke up. The sun was almost set and he was hungry. He hopped off the couch and approached Gir, who had apparently fallen off the couch.

"Gir!" Zim yelled, waking the android up.

"Hiya masta!"

"Gir, I'm hungry."

"You wanna play fetch?"

"NO! NEVER AGAIN!"

"Aww. You hungry!"

"Yes!" Zim said, tail wagging.

"Okay! I'll take you to the pet store!"

Gir grabbed a leash and attached it to Zim's collar. Gir opened the door and walked out.

"You disguise!"

"I'll buy the best doggy food there!"

"FOOL!"

~ Dib's house ~

Dib was sitting on the couch next to his sister, Gaz. They were watching "Attack of the Killer Lamprey" on Animal Planet. Gaz chuckled darkly as the lamprey went up the mayor's butt hole as he sat on the toilet. (A/N I laughed at that part too!) Dib was clearly disturbed. Soon the commercial break came on.

"Hello." Said a woman on TV. "I'm Kianna Solar. I'm a paranormal investigator. I investigate sightings of UFO's, ghosts, Bigfoot, and more. Over the years I've learned many things and debunked theories about these creatures. If you have any questions about anything Paranormal or about my adventures, you can find me at the mall in Weldon cityfrom 7-10 pm, Mondaythrough Friday this week only. And I'd be more than happy to hear your encounters."

"Gaz! I gotta go see that lady!" Dib said to Gaz. "It's Friday!"

"Go buy me batteries while your there." Gaz said. "And if you don't I'll strangle you with your small intestine!"

"Okay Gaz." Dib grabbed some cash and left.

~ At the mall ~

Dib arrived at the mall at about9:30. He only had 30 min to see Kianna. He walked by Pet Stop and saw Zim's wacky robot talking to an employee. Dib went in for a better look.

"The dog foods in the back." The man said.

"Thanks pet man!" Gir exclaimed.

"Hey!" Dib called. "Zim's robot dog thing!"

"Yeeeeeeees?" Gir said slowly turning his head in Dib's direction. "MARY BIG-HEAD! IT'S YOUUUUU!"

"Yea. What are you doing in a pet store?"

"Buying puppy food for masta!"

"Puppy food? Is Zim planing on fusing dog food with my DNA!? This is just like the bologna incident! I'll put a stop to his plan if my name isn't Dib!"

"No silly! Your name is Mary! And I'm gonna feed masta this!"

"Um... Okay..."

"Sir." An employee asked Dib. "Is this your dog?"

Dib turned and saw a really mad green dog, who was obviously Zim.

"ZIM!" Dib bellowed. "YOUR A DOG!?"

"Is this or is this not your dog?" The employee asked again.

"It's mine!" Gir screamed, a bit mad that some guy was gonna give away his master.

"Okay. Here you go kid." The man said and gave Gir his master back.

"Yay!" He grabbed the leash, bought the food, and left.

Dib still stood there, mouth agape. His shock induced trance was interrupted when a fly flew right into his mouth. He swiftly spit it out and it flew away making a little screamy noise. He walked up to the cashier.

"Um." He said, still in shock. "What time is it?"

"9:56."

"Oh poop!"

Dib ran out of pet stop and strait to the place Kianna was at. When he got there it was closed. He was about to walk away when he saw Kianna talking to a security guard. He walked up to her just as their conversation ended.

"Kianna?"

"Hi!" She said.

"Hi! I'm dib membrane! I'm sorry I'm late. It's just that I saw Zim's minion in a pet store and stuff happened and I'm late!"

"It's okay Dib."

"I have a question."

"Hit me!" She paused. "Not literally!"

"Aliens. Tell me about you experience with them."

"Ok. Come."

They began walking.

"Well," She began. "I've never actually seen one-"

"I have." Dib murmured.

"You have!" She said excitedly. "When? Do tell!"

"Almost every day." Dib explained. "His name is Zim. He goes to Skool with me. I knew he was an alien the first time I laid eyes on him. He has green skin, no nose or ears, and three fingers on each hand. When he isn't in his disguise you can see two antenna and red eyes."

"Sounds scary."

"No. He's more weird than scary."

"Weird? How so?"

"Well, he is extremely egotistical. He thinks the universe revolves around him! He yells a lot too. He's trying to take over the world! Remember altra Pepe, the giant hamster?"

"Ya! That was crazy!"

"He was our class pet! Zim made him all tall! But I stopped him!"

"Really?"

"No." Dib said, defeatedly. "Zim stopped it himself."

"But you said-"

"Yea I'm confused too. Anyway his robot was in the pet store with Zim! I saw Zim and he got turned into a dog! A GREEN DOG!"

"Really? A dog?"

"You think I'm crazy don't you." Dib said sadly, eyes tearing up.

"Yes. Your crazy! bonkers!" Kianna said and kneeled down to be at eye level with Dib. "But all the best people are. I like you kid! And I trust you. You are an amazing young boy with big potential. Just don't let anyone bring you down!"

"Wow! Thanks! Oh no. I forgot to get Gaz's batteries!" Dib ran away. "Bye!"

Kianna waved at Dib who ran into a store.

"Sweet boy." She mumbled and turned to go home.

–––––– End of Chapter 1 ––––––

**You like? I think it's way better than original. Ch 2 will be posted in about 2 weeks! You happy? I am! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 Thrown to the Dogs

Zim ended up eating waffles because the dog food tasted horrible! The trip to Pet Stop had been a complete waste. And now Dib knew he was a dog! Today was horrible! Zim needed some fresh air so Gir let him outside.

Suddenly Zim saw a cat. An orange tabby named Patches. He was grooming himself on the other side of the street, unaware of the dog watching him. Zim let out a growl and charged across the street.

Patches, coming to terms with the imminent danger, ran. The chase had begun. The two ran to a part of town unfamiliar to Zim. The orange cat soon began to fade away. Shrinking till he disappeared.

Zim looked around. The sun had almost completely vanished and the alien had never been to this part of Weldon city before. The houses were huge. Some even had large water fountains in the front. Giant gardens could be seen in some people's titanic yards. The humans Zim saw wore the cleanest, most expensive clothes he had ever seen on the planet. (Irken clothes were far more superior than the humans, however) The cars they rode were different from the ones near Zim's base. One was even the size of a bus, but twice as luxurious.

Then something stood out. A big van, dirty and old. It looked out of place in all the new and clean vehicles. Like a Vortain in a Meekrob city. The van stoped near Zim and a man with a rope attached to a stick came up to him. Before he could react, the man put the rope around Zim's neck. Zim struggled to break free. His efforts, however, were fruitless.

Zim was thrown in a dog cage. He growled at the black haired man.

"Your the weirdest looking dog I've ever seen!" The man said with a British accent.

"I'm not weird! I AM ZIM!" Zim shouted, then quickly added, "I'M NORMAL!"

"Excuse me! Sir?" A rich blond lady called.

"Yes?" Inquired the dog catcher.

"Have you captured the stray yet?"

"As a matter of fact, I have." He gestured to the green dog. "Come see."

The woman approached the back of the worn van. She peered in Zim's cage. She wore a look off disgust.

"Filthy beast." The middle aged woman murmured. The animal catcher apparently didn't hear, but Zim sure did.

"BEAST!?" Zim bellowed. "BEAST!? YOU DARE ADRESS YOUR FUTURE MASTER IN SUCH AN OFFENSIVE WAY! FOOL! WHEN I BECOME RULER OF THIS BALL OF FILTH YOU CALL EARTH, I'LL TAKE ALL YOUR MONIES AND-"

"E-hem. Some people would rather Not get a headache." Said a prissy little voice.

Zim looked down and saw a little chihuahua. It had two bows on it's head, one on each ear, and an expensive pink sweater. But before Zim could argue, the dog's owner led the chihuahua away.

"That poor boy should get paid more. Handling disgusting animals all day! Despicable!" The lady muttered.

The animal catcher shut the door, leavings the egotistical alien puppy alone in the dark.

~ Who knows how long later ~

The van finally came to a stop. The British human opened the back of the van and grabbed Zim's cage. They walked up to a small building. A sign read "KAYLA AND KLOIE'S ANIMAL SHELTER". It was already night time. Zim scratched his neck with his back paws. The collar bearing his name came off and fell out of the cage.

'Oh well. That stupid collar was getting annoying anyway.' Zim thought.

"Hey Brian!" Said a teenage girl when they entered the shelter. She had long, light brown hair and blue green eyes.

"Hello Kloie!" Brian said. "Got a new addition to the shelter." He lifted up the cage up for Kloie to see. "Most peculiar canine I've ever laid eyes upon!"

"Your right! Hey, Kayla! Come see this dog!"

"Coming!" A voice screamed. It came from the area where the cats were held.

A few seconds later, another teenager came out. She looked in the dog cage.

"That's the strangest and cutest puppy ever!" Kayla exclaimed. "Hey puppy!"

"I AM ZIM!" You know who screeched.

"He sure is loud." Kloie stated.

"Indeed." Brain agreed. "Well, I got to go. Bye!"

"Bye Brian." Kloie cooed once he left. She sighed. "I love his voice."

"Brian and Kloie siting in a tree!" Kayla sang, now holding the cage. "K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

"Shut it Kayla!"

"Whatever. I'm going to put this dog in a kennel."

"Kay."

With that Kloie went to her place at the register and Kayla went to put Zim in a kennel.

~ The area where they keep the dogs ~

Kayla gently placed Zim in a kennel. She closed the door and leaned down.

"Hmm. You have no collar." The young girl observed. "Most people buy collars for their dogs. Guess you don't have any owners."

With that, Kayla left.

"Great." Zim muttered. "How am I gonna get out of this mess." Then he thought of something. "Oh ya! My PAK! How did I not think of this earlier? I'm brilliant!" He paused. "I AM ZIM!"

He tried to activate his spider-legs, but nothing happened. He began to panic. He ran in a tight circle, trying to see his back. To his surprise, no PAK.

"NOOOO!" Zim bellowed. "I'M GONNA DIE! WHY!? WHAT DID I, ZIM, DO!? I'M TO AMAZING TO DIE ON THIS LOWLY PLANET!"

Kayla and Kloie burst through the door. It sounded like one of their dogs were dying. They ran towards the noise and saw Zim's pity party. Of course, no one could understand what the alien was saying, so the two teens thought he was nearing the end of his life.

Kayla threw open the door and grabbed Zim. He stopped yelling, but only for a second. He, almost immediately, began screaming in protest as Kloie and Kayla ran to the back of the shelter.

"What are you doing? Where are you taking me?"

"Maybe it has rabies!" Kloie said.

"No it doesn't." Said Kayla. "It's not foaming at the mouth."

"Oh. Ok."

The soon entered a room. It was a vets office. Kayla was an official veterinarian. She placed Zim on a table. Zim tried to jump off, but Kloie held him down. Kayla took his pulse.

"Seems fine." Kayla said.

She opened his mouth. Zim immediately tried to bite down.

"Yo, Kloie! Look at it's tongue!" Kloie looked and gasped.

"ALIEN!" Kloie screamed and let go of Zim. "I KNEW IT!"

Luckily Kayla let go of Zim's mouth and held the Irken down.

"No you didn't!"

"I'm not an alien!" Zim protested. "I'm normal!"

"Give me a thermometer." Kayla commanded.

"Why?" Kloie asked.

"It could still be dying!"

"Oh. Alright." Kloie swiftly got the thermometer and took Zim's temperature. "Normal. For an Earth dog. So, is it gonna live?"

"Yep!" Kayla said.

"Yay!" Kloie cheered.

"I am not okay!" Zim denied. "I'm gonna die in - it's been more than ten minutes. I'm gonna live!"

Zim was returned back to his cage. The two girls went home for the night. He sighed.

'This day is not going as well as I planed.' He thought and went to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 Life Behind Bars

"BRIAN'S COMING!?" A loud voice screeched.

Zim immediately woke up. Apparently Kayla and Kloie had been sitting outside his kennel watching him.

"Ya. He just called. Couldn't you hear?" Kayla asked.

Kloie let out a fan-girlish scream and ran to the front.

"Go run to Brian. He's way more interesting than a living breathing alien." Kayla mumbled sarcastically.

She looked at Zim and realized he was awake.

"Hi little guy!" Kayla cooed. "I never even thought you could be an alien."

"I'm not an alien!" Zim said. "I'm a normal earth dog! YOU LIE!"

"Awwww. You hungry?"

"No. I just wanna go home and get back to the mission!"

"I wonder what aliens eat."

"Not dog food!"

"You could be allergic to half the foods on Earth!"

"I am."

"Well, I guess I should just give you water for now."

"I can't drink water fool!"

But Kayla had already left. Zim sighed. This day was probably gonna be as bad as yesterday. Soon Kayla came back, water bowl in hand. She entered the kennel and closed the door behind her.

"Here you go." Kayla said after setting the bowl down. "Nice, cold, purified water."

"Hmm. Good thing I could drink purified water." Zim said.

He started to drink the refreshing liquid. He hadn't had a drink since Gir-

"Gir." Zim said. "I wonder what he's up to."

~ Zim's Base ~

Gir was sitting on the couch watching the Angry Monkey Show. (Obviously) Suddenly he remembered something.

"Masta!" Gir yelled. "I left you outside!"

The blue eyed SIR ran outside to retrieve his master. When he opened the door his master was nowhere to be seen. There was, however, a Krazy Taco flier on the door step. Gir picked it up. It was advertising the new poison ivy and spider taco.

"Masta must have gone to the Krazy Taco! I gotta go get him back!"

Gir put on his doggy disguise and left.

~ Back at the Shelter ~

"He's probably on his way here now." Zim assured himself.

Kayla knelt down to pet Zim's head.

"You wanna go outside?" She asked.

"Freedom!" Zim bellowed.

"Alright. I'll go get a leash."

Kayla left and came back a few minutes later. She had a red collar and leash. She opened the door, went in, and closed it behind her. Kayla put the collar on Zim and attached it to the red leash.

"Kloie! I'm taking the alien out for a walk!" Kayla called.

Kloie entered the room. She walked to the bars.

"Awww. Can't I?" Kloie complained.

"Don't you have a date with Brian?"

"No!"

"You ran to him when you could've been watching a real alien!"

"So?"

"So, how many people have got a chance to look at a being from another planet? Not many. But you traded that chance for a boy you see every day! You make me sick."

"But just let me make all that up!"

"How?"

"Let me walk it!"

"Grrr. Fine." Kayla said and gave Kloie the leash.

The two walked out of the building. Zim took a deep breath. He never enjoyed the Earth air like this. He was free! Zim began to walk away but was stopped short. Oh yea. He was on a leash. He sighed. Great.

"Don't run off." Kloie said. "Kayla would saluter me if I lost you. This one time I accidentally broke Kayla's yPhone 5. She beat me to a bloody pulp. Then I had to bye her the yPhone 7. It was WAY more expensive than the 5! The 5 costed $400 and the 7 $650! I was gonna buy a trampoline with that money! I've wanted a trampoline since I was 6 and I couldn't get it! My friend had a trampoline, but they moved when I was 10. That was 7 years ago. I started saving up for one when I was little. It all started when my dad took me and my two sisters bowling. I got a strike and someone gave me a quarter. That's when I started saving my money, but I was 11 when I decided to get a trampoline with it. I always put it off and now I have to get over $300 more bucks!"

Zim sighed as the human ranted on and on. This was gonna be a long walk.

~ 1/2 hour later ~

"And when I was 11 my sister, Kianna, took me Squatching. We saw something on the therm! It was huge! I never doubted the existence of Bigfoot after that night. And I will never doubt the existence of aliens. I've encountered both Sasquatch and aliens in less than a decade! Now how many people can say that and be telling the truth?" Kloie asked, looking at Zim. "Oh. You can't talk."

"Yes I can!" Zim shouted. "And Zim's voice is great!"

"Hmmm. I got an idea!" Kloie said. "Give me one bark if you were born looking like a dog and two if you weren't."

Zim barked two times.

"Wow! Now I can ask you questions! Um... Do you have about $300? One bark yes, two no."

Zim barked twice.

"Awww man. I really wanted a trampoline." Kloie sighed. "I guess we should get back to the shelter."

The alien dog and the trampoline loving human headed back to the shelter.

~ Kayla and Kloie's office ~

Kayla went to go eat at Queens and Kloie was eating at the office. She let Zim stay with her as she ate. She was about to take a bite of her waffle when she felt Zim pawing her leg. She looked down.

"Give some waffles to Zim!" The alien demanded.

"You want some?" Kloie asked.

"Yes! I'm starving!"

"Alright." She put one on a paper plate and gave it to him. They soon finished.

"Come here." Kloie picked up Zim and put him on her desk. Microhard Word was opened. "How many letters are in your name?"

Zim barked three times.

Kloie figured out his name in about five minutes.

"Zim." Kloie said

"Amazing. Is it not?" Zim asked, even though he knew she couldn't understand.

"That's an odd name. I like it!"

"Kloie! Kloie!" A voice exclaimed.

"In hear!" Kloie answered.

Kayla burst into the room. She was clearly panicked.

"It's the alien! It's gone!" She looked at Zim. "Oh thank God! I thought it escaped!"

"It's name is Zim." Kloie stated.

"Zim?" Kayla asked. "Where'd you come up with a name like that?"

"I didn't come up with it. Zim is it's name! Right Zim. One bark yes, two no."

Zim barked once, kinda mad that the girl didn't like his name.

"Cool!" Kayla said. "You can talk to it!"

"And you wanted to walk it." Kloie bragged.

"I wish she did." Zim said. "You never stop talking!"

"Should we tell Kianna about Zim?" Kayla asked.

"No stupid!" Kloie screamed. "She'll take it, she'll show it off, the government will find it, take it to Area 51 or God knows where, and bye bye alien!"

"Good point." Kayla said.

"I'm confused!" Zim said.

"Let's put Zim back." Kloie said. "Oh, and draw a 'Not for Sale' sign."

"Okie dokie!" Kayla said.

Zim was returned to his kennel. Kayla made the sign and hung it on a door. 10:30 came and the shelter closed. Kayla and Kloie went home and Zim went to sleep. Irken don't usually sleep, but dogs do.

~ Kayla and Kloie's house ~

The two girls were preparing to go to sleep when Kayla's yPhone7 rang. She checked the caller ID.

"It's Kianna." Kayla said to Kloie.

"Do NOT mention Zim!" Kloie warned.

"I won't! Do you think I'm stupid!?" Kayla asked.

"Yes." Kloie responded.

Kayla picked up the phone.

"Hey Kianna. What chu up to? Yea! That sounds fun! We could meet up at Queens for lunch! Um, the shelter? You sure? Well it's just, um, it seems like a better idea to go to a restaurant. Just 'cause. No, I'm not hiding something. Fine. Come at our lunch break. 3:30. Ok. Alright. Bye."

Kayla hung up.

"So?" Kloie asked.

"She's coming to the shelter tomorrow."

"What! Your bringing a paranormal investigator to the place we're hiding an alien?"

"We'll hide it."

"You're stupider than I thought."

–––––––––––––

**A/N : What happens next? Will they hide Zim from Kianna? Find out in the next chapter. Oh one more thing.**

**I DO NOT OWN INVADER ZIM! Tis true.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 Idiot Logic

A/N: Sorry for the long wait my fans! (And haters who choose to read on! :P). Internet hasn't been working for the past week! Torture! It's okay now! I'm at McDonalds!

I DO NOT OWN INVADER ZIM! Now READ!

–––––––––––––––––––––––

~ 3:15 pm. 15 minutes till Kianna's arrival ~

"Kianna's gonna be here in fifteen minutes!" Kayla exclaimed, stating the obvious.

"Where do we hide Zim?" Kloie desperately asked. "Kianna loves to look at all the animals when she comes, so it's kennel is out of the question. Our office is too, 'cause we'll be eating in there."

"What about the vet's office?" Kayla asked.

"Good idea!"

Kloie ran to Zim's kennel, which he couldn't stay in. The green dog was currently sleeping, but his peaceful slumber was shattered like an old vase. Kloie grabbed him and walked to the vet's office. She set him down.

"Why did you bring me here, stink beast?" Zim asked, somewhat nervous. He quickly noticed all the scalps, needles, and other medical instruments. (A/N: I'd probably wet myself! Lol!)

"It's okay." Kloie said, noticing his distress. "My sister, Kianna's coming. We can't let her find you! So please be quiet."

Kloie shut the door leaving Zim alone. He looked around for a window or some means of escape. Guess what he found. Nothing! Nada! Zip! He was trapped in a room full of objects that can easily slice him open. And some humans wouldn't hesitate too do just that. Kayla and Kloie wouldn't dare harm Zim, and he knew that, but this didn't calm him down. This was gonna be a long day.

~ 3:23 ~

"I'll say it again." Kloie said. She said each word slowly. "Do Not let Kianna in the vet's office."

"I get it!" Kayla said, irked (Pun intended pun not intended, your pick). "You told me a million times!"

"Well, I have to."

Suddenly a very familiar looking woman walked through the front door, into the lobby.

"Kayla! Kloie!" The woman, who was obviously Kianna, exclaimed.

"Kianna!" Kayla and Kloie yelled simultaneously.

The three sisters hugged.

"I was so excited to see you!" Kloie said. "What was it like in the war?"

"Brutal! I almost lost my good arm!" Kianna said.

"That's nice." Kloie said. "But seriously. Where have you been for a whole year!"

"Well, first-"

"Let's talk over lunch." Kayla said. "I'm starving!"

"Good idea." Kianna agreed. "I'm getting tired of standing."

The three musketeers walked into the office. They all sat down. Kianna packed a cheese burger, Kloie had some cake, and Kayla brought a salad. Kloie shared her cake with Kianna, much to Kayla's dismay.

"So as I was saying, before I got rudely interrupted," Kianna said. "First I got a call to go Squatching in Washington state. We heard a really loud howl! Then I heard of a UFO sighting in Texas. He showed me a picture. Believe it or not, it was a weather balloon! Then I investigated some hell hound sighting. and so on and so forth. So, have you guys had any paranormal encounters while I was gone?"

The two sisters looked at each other nervously.

"Ya!" Kloie said. "A Sasquatch! It's sitting right there!"

She pointed to Kayla.

"Hi." Kayla said. They all laughed.

"So Kloie." Kianna said. "You told me you remodeled the lab."

"Lab?" Kloie asked.

"Veterinary office."

"Yea, so?"

"So, can you show me?"

Kayla and Kloie looked at each other.

"It's a little messy." Kayla said.

"Ya." Kloie agreed. "Unorganized!"

"Please." Kianna said. "I'm used to messy."

"Excuse us for a minuet." Kloie said and grabbed Kayla's arm. She pulled her outside the office. "What do we say now?"

"Um. Let me think." Kayla said and began to, you guessed it, think. "I got it!"

"What is it!?" Kloie asked.

"We tell her that there's something in there we don't want her to see!"

"Idiot! That idea will get Zim killed!"

"Think about it! We tell Kianna it's a really big secret! If its revealed, well, bad things are gonna happen! She might buy it and leave! Problem solved!"

"Idiot logic. I like it!"

The duo burst through the door, looking like cool people for a second. If only they had a smoke machine.

"So can I see the lab?" Kianna asked, unfazed by the pure "coolness" of their entry.

"No!" Kloie said.

"Why not?" Kianna inquired.

"There is something in there that we don't want anyone to see." Kloie said confidently. Kayla randomly begone to drink some water.

"What? Are you hiding an alien in there?" Kianna said sarcastically.

Kayla spat out her water and began to choke.

"You are hiding an alien in there." Kianna said.

She quickly got up and ran towards the back of the shelter. Kayla and Kloie were hot on her tail (Kayla lagging behind because of her choking episode that blew Zim's cover.) Kianna, however, got to the vet's office before them. She opened the door, startling Zim. She knew exactly who she was looking at, thanks to Dib.

"Zim." She said.

"Yes. It is I. Now bask in my glory!" Zim commanded, not at all confused.

"Wow." Kianna gasped. "Dib wasn't lying. You are an alien dog!"

"Dib!?" Zim bellowed. "The filthy bag of... Filth!"

"How do you know Zim's name?" Kloie asked

"And who's Dib?" Kayla added.

"I met Dib at the Mall. He told me about Zim and how he turned into a puppy." Kianna explained. "Can I keep him?"

"NO!" Kayla cried and grabbed Zim. "YOUR NOT GONNA SHOW HIM TO YOUR ALIEN DISSECTING BUDDIES!"

"Why on Earth would I hurt Anything!" Kianna protested. "You know I can't even crush a spider!"

"So?" Kloie argued. "He's ours."

"I'll buy you. Big trampoline." Kianna bargained.

"Sold!"

"Zim is not something you can sell!" Zim screamed.

"Kloie!" Kayla exclaimed. "Your choosing a trampoline over an alien!"

"Yes."

"Why!?"

"Just 'cause."

"Idiot!" Kayla yelled setting Zim on the floor.

"Dummy!"

"Dookie face!"

"Stupid!"

"Why don't you go and-"

"Um, guys?" Kianna interrupted.

"WHAT!?" The two screeched simultaneously.

"I'll let him visit."

"Grr. Fine." Kayla mumbled.

"That was easy." Kianna said. She got an odd feeling that some writer in another universe was to lazy to let the argument continue. She swiftly brushed the feeling off.

"Don't I, ZIM, have a say in this?" Zim said.

"What do I get though?" Kayla asked.

"Share the trampoline." Kianna said.

"Alright."

"Yay! I get a trampoline!" Kloie cheered.

"And you have to share it!" Kayla cheered.

"And I get an alien puppy!" Kianna shouted.

The three all started to do a happy dance. They all screeched in joy. Zim sighed at the sight.

"Humans." He murmured.

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A/N: The Internet isn't working! I might not update for a while!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 Take to the Sky.

Kianna bought Kayla and Kloie their trampoline. The two closed the shelter for the whole day so they could test out their brand new trampoline. Kianna and Zim were currently on the road. Zim was in the back in a dog cage. Kianna was driving.

"I'm not letting you go just yet." Kianna said. "I have to be at the airport before my flight leaves. Which is in-" Kianna looked at the radio clock. "25 MINUTES!"

"Flight?" Zim asked. "Where?"

"I'm not gonna make it!"

"Where are we flying, filthy human?"

"This is bad! Horrible!"

"Tell Zim!"

"I'm panicking!"

"TELL ZIM NOW!" Zim bellowed, losing his cool.

"You right Zim." Kianna said, her cool returning. "I should focus. Stay calm."

"Grrr! I never said that!" Zim yelled.

"You probably didn't say that." Kianna sighed. "I'm stupid."

"Yes. Yes you are."

–––––––––––––––––––––––––

"I'm sorry mam, but pets are not aloud with the passengers on the plane."

"But he'll behave." Kianna said to the employee. "I promise."

"We'll there's nothing I can do."

Kianna gave the man 5 $100 bills.

"I'll inform my boss!" He said.

"Thank you." Kianna said, always happy to win.

A few minutes later the boss arrived. The employee showed his boss the cash and his eyes practically popped out of their sockets. He escorted Kianna and Zim to the airplane and they got on. It was packed! People everywhere. The two sat in there assigned seat. It was a window seat. Kianna looked up and saw the wonderful night sky. A shooting star zipped past.

"Make a wish." She told her doggy partner.

"Wish?" He said. "You think that space junk burning in the atmosphere can grant wishes? Your nuts! That's impossible! Humans are stupider than I thought."

"I wish-" Kianna said, eyes sparkling. "That I was a unicorn with magical powers!"

"You wish you were a weird type of corn? Someone will eat you! Ooo! That would be quite amusing!"

"Passengers." A voice said. "Please take your seats and buckle up. We are about to take off."

Kianna buckled herself in the seat. She held Zim's dog cage tightly as the plane moved forward. Then the plan left the comfort of the earth. The passengers felt their insides do somersaults. Zim was used to it. All those times taking off in his Voot Cruiser made it seem like nothing. Kianna loved the feeling for some reason.

"The stars are amazing." Kianna cooed and unbuckled herself.

Zim glanced out the window and saw the Big Dipper. He used the constellation to find Dara, Irk's star. He stared at it. He really missed home, but he'd never admit this to anyone. Kianna noticed him staring.

"You looking at your sun?" She asked.

"So?" Zim said.

"Where is it?"

"I'm not telling you so yo can go and invade it?" Zim screamed.

"Is it in the Big Dipper?"

"No. I mean maybe! I'm still not telling!"

"Hmm. Do you get there by going to the last star in the handle, then making a left to the next star, and go up one."

Zim looked at her, jaw dropped. He was flabbergasted. That was Dara.

"I knew it!" Kianna exclaimed, victorious.

"How?" Zim asked.

"I'm amazing!"

"I'm more amazing!" Zim argued.

"I'm sleepy. Gonna take a nap."

Kianna closed her eyes and within minutes fell asleep.

"How on Irk did she know where Dara was? Who told her!?" Zim thought. "I bet it was the Dib-stink! But he doesn't know where Irk is. This is confusing my superior brain meats!"

Zim looked at Dara one last time before drifting off to sleep.

Kianna woke up about three later. Zim was still fast asleep. She opened the cage and pet the alien's antennae.

"Your so cute!" She said.

"Hey!" A voice said. "Your Kianna Solar! The paranormal investigator!"

She turned and saw a young man standing by the seat. She closed the cage.

"Ya!" She said.

"Cool! I'm a big fan. I'm actually a Ufologist. Aliens and UFOs are my specialty."

"Oh really?" Kianna asked nervously. She turd Zim's cage towards the window so the man wouldn't see Zim.

"May I sit here?" He asked, gesturing to the empty seat next to her.

"Sure. Be my guest."

"I'm Colten." They shook hands. "Is this your dog?"

"Um, yea. His name is Zim."

"Can I see him?"

"NO!" Kianna screamed. "I mean s-sure."

Kianna turned the opening towards Colten. He peered in. A look of shock crossed his face.

"I-is that a real alien?"

"No. It's a costume." She lied. "I'm going to a friends and we're having a contest to see who can dress up their dogs the best. I'm gonna win!"

"Neat! It looks so real!"

"I know!"

"It was nice talking to you but my kids are waiting."

"Alright, bye!" Kianna said as Colten left. "I think I made a new friend! Yay!"

"Passengers." A voice said. "Buckle you seat belts. We will be landing shortly."

Kianna once again bulked herself in. The plane then began to descend. It was like it was nosediving. Zim began to panic.

"We're crashing! Someone call the rescue people! I'm gonna die!"

"Zim! Chill!" Kianna said. "We're landing."

"I knew that!" Zim replied. "I was just, um, practicing my screaming in case we were."

The plane landed smoothly and Zim was relieved. And embarrassed. They were now in Washington State. The stars were still shining. It was about one in the morning and they needed to find a hotel.

The two got in a car and left. They finally checked in at about 2. Their room had two beds and a fancy bathroom with fancy soaps.

"Oh! Snazzy!" Kianna said and let Zim out. "There you go."

"I CALL THE BIG BED!" Zim cried and jumped on the bed on the far side of the room. Both beds, however, were the same size.

Kianna threw her bags on the floor and jumped on the bed. She grabbed the remote and turned on the television. Some show called 'The Lives of Sumo Wrestlers' was on. She changed the channel the channel to Investigation Discovery. Homicide Hunter was on. Kianna let out a squeal of joy.

"Lt. Joe Kenda rocks!" She cheered.

Halfway through the show, she fell asleep. Soon after Zim did too.

The sun shone through the window onto Kianna's bed. She groaned and threw the pillow over her head. Eventually she got up. Kianna turned on the TV. She put the science channel on. Survivor Man was on. Half an hour later Zim woke up.

"Hey Zim!" Kianna said. "Guess where we're going today?"

"Idiotville?" Zim said sarcastically.

"On a Bigfoot Road-trip!"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 Bigfoot Road-trip

"A what?" Zim asked.

"Come on! We got to get ready!" Kianna said. "It's already 2:35 and we got to leave by six!"

"That's about four Earth hours from now. It can wait."

Kianna didn't wait, she got packed. She brought food, water, a thermal imager, a camera, wood knocking sticks, stuff to cast prints, bug spray, game cameras, and bait. Zim just watched TV. Deadly Affaires was on.

"What are those humans doing!?" Zim asked.

"Don't watch that!" Kianna bellowed. She dived for the remote and turned off the TV. "I don't want to pollute you young, alien mind."

"Okay?"

The clock soon read six. Kianna grabbed all the things she packed (including Zim) and left. The sun was setting and the sky was speckled with clouds. Soon Kianna's car left the comfort of the busy, paved, city roads. The car was now traveling on a dirt road in the woods. Trees towered high and Kianna could finally breath fresh air.

"Smell that fresh air Zim." Kianna said. "No dumpsters, gasoline, or stinky humans for miles!"

"Zim likes that last part." Zim stated. "It's also quiet."

By this time the sun went down and stars began to show themselves. It quickly became obvious that there was more stars visible in the woods than in the city. It was magnificent to say the least. Thousands of stars twinkled above them. Zim glanced out the window and found Layasree, Vort's sun.

"Hey! There's your star!" Kianna said, pointing to Dara.

"That is not where Zim's amazing planet is located at! YOU LIE!" Zim yelled.

"Alright. I won't tell a soul. Living or dead." Kianna promised, sensing Zim's uneasiness.

"Good. Not that I care or anything! That's not my sun or nothing like that! I'm not telling!"

~ 20 min later ~

The two were now walking in the woods. It was dark and quiet erie. It was a New Moon adding to the natural darkness in the woods. Even worse, the stars were covered by the trees' leaves and branches. Zim was not scared! He was an invader and invaders fear nothing!

_Whoo! Whoo!_

"What was that!?" Zim cried.

"Don't worry. It's just an owl." Kianna said, cool as a cucumber.

"I knew that! Zim never gets worried!"

_Awooooooooo!_

"AHHHH! The derkake is after me!" Zim screamed.

"Zim! It's just a coyote!" Kianna said grabbing Zim.

"Oh. My bad."

"Now that that's over with, let's do some Bigfoot calls." Kianna said. "After I do a call don't say anything. We mustn't make a sound. If you do we won't here any Sasquatch. And if you make me miss a response I'll hand you over to my 'alien dissecting buddies' as Kayla puts it."

"My noise tube is sealed." Zim said nervously. "I AM ZIM!"

Kianna took a few deep breaths, cupped her hands around her mouth, and let out a long, deep howl. Then they waited, quietly. One minute turned into two and then;

_Aaaaaaaaaaaahhh!_

A reply. It sounded just like Kianna's but deeper and more powerful. Zim's eyes got wide. He took a deep breath.

"It's just a filthy coyote. Nothing more, nothing less." Zim mumbled to himself.

"That's no coyote." Kianna said. Zim froze.

"Than what is it!?"

"That was a Bigfoot."

"Oh good. I thought it was a derkake."

Kianna did another howl earning her another reply. This time it was two woops.

"Cool!"

"This Bigfoot creature made me believe the derkakes were after me. I'm going to tell Bigfoot to shut his hairy mouth!" Zim declared and ran towards the howls and woops.

He ran for five minutes and herd Kianna do a few more woops. This time the reply came from about a hundred yards ahead of him. His determination grew. This Bigfoot was gonna learn his lesson! A tall dark figure slowly appeared.

"Hey! Hey!" Zim called. "Bigfoot beast! Hey!"

The creature looked at the small dog. Zim stopped a few feet in front of it.

"Stop making those horrible noises! Don't you have any thing better to do? And ever herd of a hair brush! Humans use it all the time! And take a bath! You smell like dookie! I smell better than you even when I don't bath in weeks!"

The Sasquatch stared at the small yapping animal confused.

"This dog thing is annoying." The Sasquatch thought. "Oh well. Better get back home, it's spaghetti and meatball night!"

The Bigfoot turned to walk away.

"Hey! Don't walked away from me! I'm yelling!" Zim ran in front of it and began ranting some more. "I AM ZIM, and no one walks away from me as I'm ranting. You've got no respect!"

The Sasquatch sighed and picked Zim up.

"Put me down! You stink is rubbing off!" Zim protested.

The Bigfoot put him on a branch and walked away.

"Don't leave me here! Hello!?"

"Zim!" A female voice called. "Here boy!"

"Shut up! Your annoying!"

Kianna came into view and looked up at Zim. She walked up to the branch he was placed on.

"How'd you get up here?" She asked. "Dogs aren't supposed to climb trees."

She picked him up and set him on the floor.

"I say tonight was a success! To bad we didn't get to see a Bigfoot. That would be cool!"


End file.
